the listening room

by Brandon Wadley

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about

This is the culmination of the first four years of my songwriting (2009-2012) and it includes the songs that have stuck around, challenged me, and made sense- the ones marking the main points of trial and change in my life thus far. This is a collection of extensive rewrites and re-recordings, taking months of time and dedication, with a few instruments, an 8-track, and some serious drive. The theme of the record is growth, and I hope it continues to be so in further writings. I hope you can enjoy some of my filthy earthly labor. I made this with my bare hands.

credits

released 21 June 2013
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Dedicated to the following:
Pluto the planet, 2005, Adam, Courtney, Laurie, Abbey, Peter and Dixie, Eric and Lindsey, Katherine Louise, Tanner and Jamie, Jared, Jaron, the men of Medlin 2nd West, Dr. Kamm, Monsieur Wilkins, Bethany and Ron, The Carolines, Heidi and Phil, Kelly and Tina, Chad and the Smiths, the talent: (Hannah, Peter, Kiley, Adam, and Caroline), Mamaw and Papaw John, Granny and Papaw Bud, Uncle Curtis and the family, Muz, Minnie, The Mayfield Commons, the city of Maryville, and everyone who ever made their way out to a show or displayed any encouragement or support, whether financially, physically, morally, or in prayer. --You are all cherished and beautiful. Thank you.

Other thanks to:
Vienna and Java Coffee Companies, Sycamore Tree UMC, Camp Wesley Woods, Lee University/the city of Spector, Westminster PCA, Fairview UMC, Lee's Student Leadership Council, ETSU RUF Ministries, ETSU Wesley Foundation, Ron Gilbert and his family, The Turncoats, 2-15, Grady Milligan, Sinai Vessel, The Great Great Pines, Old Ben Kenobi, Marty Durand, Randy and Brenda, Chris Eger, John Ousley, Jenny and Tyler, Sam Graves and David Talley, Camille and Sara, Melody, Penny, Jamie, Beth, Sara and Mel, Shashank, whoever dropped the hundred that night at Vienna, and all the other nouns that inspired, guided, and encouraged me.

Lastly, thank you to Jesus Christ, the savior of my soul and the holder of my heart. You inspired me in ways I am not able to explain. Thank you for saving, forgiving, and loving me despite my fear and foolishness.

All songs written, performed, recorded, and produced by Brandon, in various bedrooms, churches, dorms, an apartment, basements, a camp cabin, various other buildings, and an abandoned elementary school hallway, with a Fostex MR8-HD digital recording interface thing, and a dynamic microphone with help from:

Hannah Daulton -violin in "Burn it All" and "Run"
Peter Gaultney -backup vocals in "Sleepwalking"
Kiley Ellingson - upright bass in "Sleepwalking," "April"
Adam Morrell - drum kit in "Forest Fire" and "War"
Caroline Kindiger -cello in "Snow"
"Sleepwalking" claps by Peter, Phillip, me, Jamie, and Tanner.
All other instruments including acoustic, electric, and bass guitar, piano, cello, banjo, electric organs, percussion, harmonica, voices and other sounds by Brandon.

Thanks to Peter for lending mics for a few tracks during recording.

Cover photo artwork by Mary Emily Vatt; remaining song artwork by Brandon.

All lefts and rights reserved, copyright © Brandon Wadley MMXIII.

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about

Brandon Wadley Johnson City, Tennessee

Hey, my name is Brandon and I've been writing songs, recording and performing since around 2009, playing mainly in East Tennessee. My goal is to write songs that point to a greater hope or consolation. I am a normal human being and I love my fiancée, cats, coffee, the outdoors, and living life like the story that just keeps getting better, told by the greatest author ever. ... more

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Track Name: Dirt
Sometimes, in some way, someone will make me happy beyond my childish reason that follows me through my yesterdays into these. In my rational collections and ways that I expect people to act by, some days my heart cries, but I'm no different, through the conversations I exchange in my head. But you made up for the heartbreak, and you'll take my heart, though contented with lonesome detachment. I just find myself needing some help taking hold of it. I've tried to find the answers and draw my conclusions, and I've fought to make my name known here, but it's all dirt, reflected in the light of the sun. But you made up for the heartbreak, and you'll take my heart, though contented with lonesome detachment. I just find myself needing some help taking hold, and you'll break my levy of apathy. And you break my heart, though ridden with insecure vices. I know you want me to come home. I'm ready to go.

Copyright © 2012 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Sleepwalking
Am I just a lost soul? Have I fallen apart, standing in the dark beneath a streetlight? The moon is coming out, making her routes across the sky. Is this a dream or am I sleepwalking? Is this a dream? Now here's a story. One night I fell asleep, January nineteen, and I swear I slept for over half a year. Just keep on dreaming; I won't wake you up. Make sure you sleep enough, and I hope you'll do the same for me. Is this a dream, or am I sleepwalking? Is this a dream? Finally opened my eyes, something like October nine, and I watched the sun rise above the horizon. Before I knew it, I'd dreamt the Winter, Spring, and Summer away, but who wants to live in this real world anyway? Yeah, who wants to live? Is this a dream, or am I sleepwalking? Is this a dream, or am I sleepwalking? Is this a dream, or am I sleepwalking?

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Cure
I've grown closer to the rain than the ones I call friends, I think. She returns my silent affections. She comes and goes, but she always listens. I had a dream I was searching for you, but I didn't dare to stop and rest, because I knew that I would wake up soon. I guess you somehow willed it to last. Thought I was desperate and I needed a cure. I needed to know I wasn't floating far. I'm holding on to some ancient weight, and I don't believe it's anything the rain can't wash away. And in this dream, you whispered, 'listen to me.' I felt to be a fool to speak. The record turns and sings me to sleep. I'm seeking rest that is beyond me. Thought I resolved to rest my head. I let the morning hold it's breath. These winter evenings leave my head spinning, but peace above finds my heart beating again. Thought I was desperate and I needed a cure. I needed to know I wasn't floating far. I'm holding on to some ancient weight, and I don't believe it's anything. I don't believe it's anything. I don't believe it's anything the rain can't wash away. I've looked longer to my stormy skies than into your loving eyes. Thought for a moment I heard you say my name, and yesterday I'd say it's just the rain.

Copyright © 2012 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Burn it All
Forego the lies and relieve the wound, to draw a line where the flames ensue. Despite the smoke, I feel a hope rising. Hold on, let go, behold the horizon. I'm not going back as the one you knew. I'm burning all the things I used to own. I'm not going back to who I was. The long walk home will bring me back to the one I love, the one I love. Take to the skies, and we'll stand tall. No more to cry, no further to fall. Swirling light, warm as the sun, through the dead of night, cold as a stone, cold as a stone. I'm not going back as the one you knew. I'm burning all the things I used to own. I'm not going back to who I was. The long walk home will bring me back to the one I love. The one I love, the one I love, the one I love, the one I love. I'll burn it all into dust and fumes, if then I can dwell in the new. Oh, I'll burn it all into dust and fumes, if then I can dwell in the new.

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: House of Wood
We lived in a house made of wood, not of stone. Nature, have your way. Wash us away with sun and rain. Sister, if you have the strength, stand back up. Today's the day. Hold on to something. Hold on to something. You can't walk on your own, and you don't have to be alone. You won't find it on your own. Hold on, sister. Hold on, brother. And still the moonlight watches over, as we stumble on our way. We'll never be the same. Brother, find the strength to sit up straight. Today's the day. Hold on to something. Hold on to something. Worn down your being to the bone. Vague forms of life your dreams consumed. And you won't find it on your own. Hold on, sister. Hold on brother. Worn down your being to the bone. Vague forms of life your dreams consumed. And you won't find it on your own. Hold on, sister. Hold on brother.

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: April
Too much time alone can make you crazy, thinking things you never thought you would. And you alone have become your worst enemy. Where's the life that I once thought was good? Filling my own head with my own worries, thoughts of the approaching days to come. Your name has just become another story for travelers who've lost their way back home. Oh April, look at the mess I'm in. Oh April, what a live I live. What a life I live. What a life I- I could've stopped you from driving away, but you're the chance that I was made to forsake. Watch the sun set, feel the engine rev, switching gears, switching opportunities. Within the confines of this conscious array, I say, comes down to my friends as the ones I evade. Maybe it's something I'll realize some day. Oh April, so sorry for the way I've been. Oh April, this has been no way to live. What a life I live. What a life I live. What a life I live.

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Ages
I seem to've lost my way. You wouldn't happen to know where I am? I've spent ages in search of life. Think I found it right here in your arms. I seem to've lost my way. Just in time, i feel my heart caving in. I tend to lose myself every time I look back to where I've been. I find solace in the stars, and when I'm alone, they know my name. All that they've seen in their days, they wouldn't happen to know where I am. I seem to've lost my sight. You wouldn't happen to know where God went? I've heard he'll make a way, and wash away the pain of these blind eyes. I seem to've lost my way. You wouldn't happen to know where I am?

Copyright © 2012 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Forest Fire
Into the woods, the Son, he went, clean for-spent. Into the woods, the Son, he came, for-spent with love and shame. The forest is on fire! White ashes fill my lungs. Refined as the finest gold, till my life is over. Till my life is over. Out from the woods the Son, he went. He was well content. Out from the woods the Saviour came, content with love and shame. The forest is on fire! White ashes fill my lungs. Refined as the finest gold, till my life is over. Till my life is over. We are made beautiful in Thee, the Maker. We are hearts made complete in the light of the sun. We are made beautiful in Thee, the Maker. We are hearts made complete in the light of the sun. The forest is on fire! White ashes fill my lungs. Refined as the finest gold, till my life is over. Till my life is over.

Copyright © 2012 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: War
I think I've lost it. My heart blows like the wind with every season. The hope that I once had is non-existent. I'm numb to who I am and what I know. You know what it's like to lose yourself inside of your own head. In there, it's difficult to decide who are your friends. You don't know who you are or where you've been, because it's war. A war inside my spirit, and I'm losing to myself and to the fright of my very eyes, and after all, this is a fight we're in. Yeah, after all, this is a fight we're in. I hate to see it. Your reflection in the shimmer of my tears. Right next to you, I'm feeling older than my years. I'm glad to hear it. You're interested in other things, yeah, I don't blame you. I wouldn't feel sorry for myself if I were you, because it's war. A war inside my spirit and I'm losing to myself and to the fright of my very eyes, and after all, this is a fight we're in. Yeah, after all, this is a fight we're in. The words repeated don't make sense anymore. What did you mean when you reached out for my hand? I know you meant it, but it's okay. You don't have to mean it now. I thought I saw it. I thought I recognized the vital signs of life. I thought I knew what was wrong and what was right, but love doesn't know regret or wasted time. Yeah, love doesn't know regret or wasted time, even in war! Even when the war inside of you is raging, whether it's your heart or your life around that's changing, because after all, what are we really fighting? Yeah, after all, what are we really fighting? Yeah, after all, what are we really fighting for?

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Run
Just lately, to describe it, I could say my heart's been shaken. City lights have all been mistaken for the night skies. It's so easy to lose your voice within the fleeting noise. It's so easy to lose sight of what matters and what's right. You're in good hands. You're in good hands. You're in good hands. You're in good hands. You're running with your back turned, going too fast. Can you find your way back now, forget about your past? You're running with your back turned, going too fast. Can you find your way back now, forget about your past? And you, keep holding on. You're never too far gone. Keep holding on. You're never too far. Just lately, seems my purpose and my worth, they all evade me. If I look up, past this moment and the doubt, I see my love. I see our love. It's so easy to lose your voice within the fleeting noise. It's so easy to lose sight of what matters and what's right. You're in good hands! You're in good hands! You're in good hands! Yeah, you're running with your back turned, going too fast. Can you find your way back now, forget about your past? You're running with your back turned, going too fast. Can you find your way back now, forget about your past? And you, keep holding on. You're never too far gone. Keep holding on. You're never too far gone. Keep holding on. You're never too far gone. Keep holding on.

Copyright © 2011 Brandon Wadley
Track Name: Snow
Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. If I showed you, you'd've closed your eyes. Nothing ever makes much sense and no one's ever known your fight. Yeah, I'm fine. I can see you on the outside, wasting away, something eating you from inside. In all the wisdom of the books we've read, what is the life of a man anyway? Been walking around campus for the ninetieth time. I won't believe it's only been two weeks. I hate everyone I know and I love everyone I see, what's with me? Because I'm still a broken man and I wanna go home, and I'm looking for some kind of light to show me where to go. Been trying to fill this emptiness with everything material, a story that you've heard before. I might as well not speak, but in fact that's worse than what was before. What was before? Wake up and rub your eyes, darling, another day has come. I wish you best although we've never met. One day, I hope we'll reminisce, look back on all the things I missed. What did I miss? You've been walking through the snow, hoping one day you'll find just exactly where you're supposed to me. I've been working on reaching you. I hope you're working on reaching me, too. Because I'm still a broken man and I wanna go home, and I'm looking for some kind of light to show me where to go. Been staring at the headlights, writing it down, and I'm waiting here for the dawn. I don't really have a place to go. I just hope I'm not the only one, not the only one. I'm scared of tornadoes and people dying quickly and that mother won't remember my voice. They say that nothing stays the same. Guess I'm waiting for some kind of change. Will I change? Because I'm still a broken man and I wanna go home, and I'm looking for some kind of light to show me where to go. I'm still a broken man and I wanna go home, and I'm looking for some kind of light to show me where to go. The answer is standing there, singing, 'open your eyes, child.' You're the only one I see, the only one I'll find.

Copyright © 2012 Brandon Wadley